Caring Without Carrying it Home

Everything we experience is filed away in our brain. This can be a good thing - happy memories, songs we like - or a bad thing - bitter memories, songs we dislike but can’t get out of our head. So, when it comes to our work, especially work that relates to unpleasant matters or issues that resonate deeply and painfully with us, the same principle applies. Those experiences are filed away inside us. So, what can we do about this?

This constant shaping and reshaping of our life experiences’ stores away in the mind is called neuroplasticity. It starts from the moment we were conceived and ends only when we die.

So those bad days at work, they’re in us. But that doesn’t mean we have to suffer from their presence.

As you leave for work, just take a minute or so, maybe at traffic lights when they are at red, or on the bus or train or when you are walking, to take a couple of slow, deep breaths, and say to yourself “I will manage my reactions and responses to whatever happens at work today, and I will take some times throughout the day to ease my mind and care for my state of mind.” That’s all; it’s just setting an intention and a vision of you as someone who cares for yourself every day.

Any time you have even a few seconds break while you are at work, take another deep, slow breath or two. Feel the in-breath’s freshness and how it helps to clear your mind; then feel the outbreath’s soft, slow, peaceful exhalation. Think these words to yourself as you do it, "Breathing in, my mind is completely clear; and breathing out my mind is quiet and peaceful.” You can do this a dozen times or more throughout the day at work. It takes seconds but it resets your mind to be calm, clear, and at peace.

It can be helpful, if we have time, to jot down how we are feeling towards the end of our working day. It helps start the process of letting go of things we’d rather not be in our minds when we get home. So, a discipline of just using ten minutes or so to let it all out onto paper. Pen and paper is a more effective process than typing it. And if you have a little more time left, you can follow this up by writing down how you want to be by the time you get home, in other words, your preferred states of mind.

Another way is if you walk or get a bus or train home, in other words a form of transport where you can take your eye off the road. You can deliberately take that time to let go of feelings and moods by simply following your breath as it goes into and out of your nostrils. Alternatively, you can notice one sense at a time for ten to thirty seconds, starting with what you see around you, enjoying anything that is particularly pleasant or appealing. Then change attention to any sounds, and finally to the sense of touch, which may include noticing the air on your cheeks or hands, your legs on a seat, or your feet on the ground. Just notice; doing so calms the mind and helps let go of concerns.

When you get home hopefully your frame of mind will be rested and positive, ready for the evening ahead, whether that is on your own or with family or friends.